For several months, a lot of my time has involved the word pain. Pain is an inevitable part of the human experience that often brings profound wisdom, growth, and resilience. The hurt and sadness during pain are hard to cope with though. There are often times when pain makes you wonder if you can go on having to deal with the pain every day. My pain is a very physical pain currently and some days it has a hopeless feel for me. There are other types of pain. I had a period of time when my pain was a mental pain, and I very much felt that I couldn’t face my life any longer. It was only with the prayers of others that I was able to continue on. Another pain is emotional. Rejected love is such an emotional feeling and often also gives the feeling of not wanting to go on. Finding God in the pain is hard. He seems far away and even uncaring—even though I truly know better. He does care, He is near and loving me no matter what I feel.
For the last few months I have been advised to go to a pain clinic. My physical therapist was certain that the clinic was the only way for me to find relief. I had the MRI that looked deep into my bones and muscles and it allowed the doctors to see what the problem was. The sad result showed the doctors what no eye, except for God’s eye, can see. The expert eyes could see that there is no proscribed surgery answer to my pain. I have deterioration of my bones and bulges and pinches that give me a great deal of pain and relief only comes when I don’t move. Not moving only makes the problem get worse. Strong pain-relieving medicines come with side effects that are less than desirable and need other medicines to counteract those effects. Pain is defined by the International Association for the Study of Pain as an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with or resembling that association with actual or potential tissue damage. That is me. Dealing with the pain eventually makes me second guess it and I start thinking that maybe I am just a crybaby! That I should try harder to endure. I am always being asked to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. I have come to dislike that question. It doesn’t give the whole picture. Of course, I don’t have pain when I’m seated being asked the question! But at home, trying to work, then my pain feels like 10+++! Verbal description is only one way to show pain; an inability to talk or communicate does not mean a human or animal is not feeling pain. I am so glad that God understands how I feel when I can’t find the words to tell Him what I feel and need. I am so thankful that He understands.
This past week I traveled to the pain clinic. When I had my first appointment, I wasn’t sure of what to expect. My first consult determined that a steroid injection would be recommended and tried. The first day after that injection I had great relief and I felt like I had my life back—for a day and a half. And then the pain came back. The next plan or step for helping with the pain would be to burn the nerves that were causing my painful days and nights. But before that could happen, I would be required to have 2 test sessions before I could be approved for the real nerve burning. This week I had the first test which involved “bee sting” needles into my back with numbing medicine to temporarily give me relief. It did give me some relief for about 7 hours and then, as expected, the pain was back. I had to report the amount of relief I experienced and the percentage of improvement. I needed 80% improvement to continue on. It seemed simple when the worksheet was explained but in reality, it wasn’t that simple for me. And very open to cheating on the numbers in my opinion. In trying to be honest, my information only got me to 75%. A call from the project nurse made me rethink and wonder about my understanding and a fear of being cut and dropped from the project that was supposed to be bringing me relief. I did not have a good night of sleep that night wondering how I could fix my number problem so I could go forward. I am so glad that I have a God who can fix my problems and that I don’t have to worry about doing that on my own. I don’t have to try to make my numbers fit His expectations for me. I can rely on Him to know what to do and wait for Him to take over my fear. A talk with a nurse the next day brought me some peace and mind relief and to know that I really did qualify to go on with these test injections. These tests aren’t exactly fun. I had to lay face down on a table and then experience the series of 8-10 “bee sting” injections. I informed them that I wasn’t very fond of bees! When finished I then had to get off that table. At home, I roll over and sit up and use my hands to push my body up to a standing position when I need to get up from the bed. This table had no room for that action and consequently I made a very ungraceful attempt to stand from flat on my stomach to sliding my legs off the edge and blindly hope that my feet would find the floor eventually all with the pain that had not yet gone away. I was glad for kind hands that helped my not so graceful moves. I am glad that there were no cameras being used at that point! Finally, I was upright! And now there was a new pain that I did not like or understand. I was used to my right hip and back being painful, but I did not like the new pain at all in my left hip. It was painful to walk in a whole new way.
The truth is even when pain and suffering weigh heavy on your heart, God does not abandon you in the storm of pain. He draws close to comfort you and steady your spirit. I need to have Jesus impress me with a “pain sermon” to help my attitudes. The reality of the pain struggle is that everyone faces seasons of grief, physical discomfort, and deep heartache in a broken sinful world. Feeling forgotten and crushed does not mean God is distant. He sees every tear I cry. I am not alone because Jesus understands human suffering deeply; because He lived it and carried our griefs during His time here on earth. Instead of asking for the trial of pain to vanish, I need to ask God to change and strengthen my heart during this pain trial. Earthly troubles are temporary, but the peace and glory promised ahead will outlast any of my pains. God is never closer to you than when your heart is hurting. And even during my physical pain because He knows about it and cares!
Pain has a way of silencing everything else. When hurt enters our lives—whether through a broken relationship, a failing body, or a deep, quiet grief or painful backs and knees—it demands all our attention. It makes the world feel small, heavy, and very lonely. Yet, Scripture offers me a startling promise: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) I noticed it does not say God watches from a distance until the storm passes. He steps directly into the wreckage. Jesus knows what it means to suffer, and He does not waste anyone’s tears. He collects them.
When you do not have the words to pray, I can let that very ache can become the prayer. Let your weakness draw you to His shelter, trusting that He is holding you when you lack the strength to hold yourself. Lord, I am tired and hurting. On the days when the road feels too steep, remind me that I do not walk alone. Draw me close to Your side, trade my heavy burden for Your peace, and help me trust You in the dark. A quote I found– “In [God’s] goodness, He often uses the hard things in our lives to teach us that He is all we need. The removal of a good thing causes pain but can also bring us to cry out to God and find in Him our strength and peace and hope.” Alistair Begg Some of us mistakenly believe that if we just follow Jesus, everything will always fall into line. Deep down, we think that God will always and immediately intervene to remove hardship. When God doesn’t answer our prayers how or when we want, we wonder if we can still trust that He knows best. Perhaps you are in that place today.
Repeatedly throughout Scripture, God promises to come to our aid when we ask: “The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore” Psalm 121:6-8. These are the guarantees of God’s word. Yet the way in which He fulfills such promises is often along rocky terrain, amid dark valleys, and in uncomfortable waiting rooms. I am so glad that I have this promise, “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4b
Why we suffer is an important question we all struggle with? But no matter why it happens, we acknowledge that suffering plays a very real part in all of our lives. A deeper struggle in the life of every believer comes when we ask the next logical question: Where is God in my pain and suffering? The stories of the Bible are filled with the pain and suffering of God’s people. The book of Psalms includes 42 psalms of lament. But a consistent message of scripture is that—even during the most painful times—God was with his people. Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” And Jesus himself endured the ultimate unimaginable pain for us so we can be assured that God never leaves us alone. As believers, we have this source of comfort in our pain: God is with us.
Pain can feel isolating. It clouds our thinking, drains our energy, and often convinces us that no one else could possibly understand. I’ve learned, though, that God’s comfort in pain is real, even when we don’t feel it right away. I remember a particularly hard period in my life where the pain overshadowed everything. It was the kind of sorrow that made me withdraw, not just from people, but from God. I told myself, they won’t understand. Their lives seem so perfect and some of the people caused my pain. And God isn’t fixing it!
In trying to protect myself, I built walls that made even God seem far behind and far away. The beautiful thing is that God does not promise a pain-free life, but He does promise to be faithful through it. Paul calls Him “the God of all comfort.” That means all, not just comfort for small pains or light burdens, but even for the deep grief, the heartbreak, and the silent suffering no one else sees.
In Romans 8:18, Paul writes, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed.” He articulates well the reality that Christians can rejoice despite our pain because we know that even greater joy awaits us; our suffering is not the end. Believers can look forward to the time when death, mourning, crying, and pain pass away. And we persevere because we trust God’s promise that he will see us through until that day comes. “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” That will be so wonderful!