This past week I came to realize something about myself that did not make me happy. It came at the end of a busy couple of weeks of spring things to do ’cause spring doesn’t last forever, of dental decisions and appointments to make (and to keep with dread), the need to revisit my cancer surgery of two years ago appointment, and also enjoying visiting family that I love to have come when they can. All those things made me tired as they kept me under a bit of stress with not much time to just sit and relax. There is no end to things that come and happen to make my blood pressure increase. And when that happens, then I am even more stressed because I know that it will be high the next time I have a health and wellness appointment. That BP is always in my mind and something I dread. Just the dreading alone makes it high! I want to go back to the time when I didn’t have that dread. At any rate, I’m not who I used to be. I have pains that I don’t enjoy. There are things that I can’t do any more. There are things that I am forced to change how I can do them. Now I have to be more active in doing life rather than just letting it happen. I probably did that far too long. It was easier! But God doesn’t want us to take the easy way. He wants me to be conscious of my actions day to day. He wants me to constantly be moving forward to becoming more like Him. I have always thought that word Sanctification was like spring—it is the continual time to grow and in the growing, I want to grow more like Him. Maybe that is why I like the color green. I love the spring greens and the various shades of green that appear and show that new life is beginning. Green to me means Sanctification.
Yes, ”I’m not who I used to be, and I thank God for that.“ “Who you were is not who you are, and who you are is not who you will be.” I saw both of those quotes this week and they made me think about how true for me they are. The Bible puts it this way: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) For me it is both a stressful and a comforting realization to look in the mirror—or examine my heart—and say, “I am not the woman I used to be.” I know I used let myself to be defined by insecurity. but now try to walk each day with more confidence. I may have inherited the tendency to insecurities from my mother. She never thought she was good enough. Not good enough in most areas. And that attitude has been hard for me to get past for myself. Maybe I used to let the fears dictate my choices, but now I try to move with faith. Sometimes I have carried the heavy weight of regret, and now I try to walk in the light weight of God’s grace.
That shift is not just a personal development; it is a spiritual transformation. It can be unsettling to change. Sometimes, the people who knew the “old you” have a hard time accepting the “now” you. Here are some thoughts that had meaning for me. God is not only interested in our salvation; He is interested in our sanctification—the daily work of growing and shaping you into His image. It can be unsettling to change. The people who knew the “old you” best have the hardest time accepting the new you. They might expect you to play old roles, to shrink back into old habits, or to react with old defenses. But you are not going backward to old ways. You are not what you used to be. Thank God for the grace that broke the chains of the past. You are not yet what you will be. Do not be discouraged if you are still a “work in progress.” The same God who started this work is faithful to complete it. If you feel tempted to feel guilty about the past, remember this: Who you were is not who you are, and who you are is not who you will be. The old version of you doesn’t live there anymore, and you are free to live in the present, serving a new master.
Paul had this to say: Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 I can’t imagine the guilt Paul could have carried and the self-condemnation he could have weakened under after coming to the Lord. But instead of focusing on the past, who he was and what he had done, he believed that Christ had called him to a new purpose. He knew that he had been changed and that he was not who he had been. His transformative experience with the Savior enabled him to leave the past behind and press on to the goal to win the prize. He knew that being new in Christ meant becoming a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). This meant he could leave guilt behind, too. He was forgiven. He was renewed. He was redeemed. Thank You God, that I am not the woman I used to be. Thank You for Your redeeming grace that washed me clean and made me a new creation. When the enemy whispers lies about my past, help me to stand firm in the truth of who I am in You. Thank You for the transformation taking place, and for the strength to keep walking forward, shedding the old, and stepping into the purpose You have designed for me.
Many people from my past probably know a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore. Our pasts do not have to hold us down. They don’t need to define who we are any longer—even if others know a version of us that does not exist now. When Paul was converted, people who had known him as a vicious persecutor of the faith, heard that He was a follower of Christ, but they were still afraid of him. It’s understandable that they didn’t trust Him. They didn’t know the new Paul, yet. This didn’t stop him from fulfilling the mission Christ had given him. He knew who he was and he knew who he belonged to, so he pressed on to fulfill his calling. Imagine if he had been so plagued with guilt (stoning of Stephan) that he focused on the past and could not let it go. He would not have been able to complete the mission that Christ gave him. The same mission he had back then still helps us change our lives today.
Sometimes in our lives, the Lord is holding out a new vision and purpose for us and He has promised that we are not who we were, and if we still feel so much guilt that we can’t let go of who we once were, then it keeps us trapped from fulfilling our calling in Christ. Paul is an example that no matter what we have done, even if we have hurt Christ himself or the people we love the most, that the Lord can still use it for good. I had to learn to rise out of the hurt I experienced from my family and friends and the past that had a part of making me who I am today. And now I have to remember, “who you were is not who you are, and who you are is not who you will be.” I have been redeemed, and Christ will continually be transforming me from glory to glory until I get to go Home. For these reasons, and because of His deep love for me, I can leave my past behind—though it is so hard to do.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” Isaiah 43:18-19. Lord, thank you that I am a new creation in you, and you are continuing to redeem all parts of my life and past. Thank you that I no longer need to be plagued by guilt.
My busy two weeks of realizing that I am not the woman I used to be ended with me thinking about my own mother and how I have failed to live up to her example. I recently found this poem of tribute to mothers. It is my tribute for my mother!
A good mother is dignified. She knows she is made in the image of God almighty. She respects herself, her children and others. She is aware of the greatness within her and does not need validation from others.
Neither of us are and were dignified or thought we were great. We feared what others think of us. We both had and have great respect for our children, and their love is/was important to us—very important to me!
A good mother is hopeful. She knows that obedience to God and constant effort will make her dream come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love unconditionally to her children.
We both gave the love for family unconditionally. I felt it, I hope my children do.
A good mother has loads of inspiration and tons of endurance. She prays constantly for her household. She knows that sometimes she needs to inspire her children to recognize and use the “Seeds of Greatness” God gave them.
I did not often see my mother in prayer, but I know we were in her mind, just as my children are constantly in my mind and consequently, my/her thoughts are prayers for them.
A good mother appreciates her past, understands her present, and focuses toward the future. She forgives herself and others of past mistakes just as God forgives her.
My mother always looked at the past. To me she was not too concerned about the future, she knew that God had it in control. I don’t often like looking at the past for I realize what I wish to have changed. But I look forward and want to focus on the future and what it would mean to have my family all together again with no one missing. A good mother teaches her children that God gives us challenges meant to bring us closer to Him, to self-knowledge and to His everlasting love.
I see my children having God in their lives and despite their challenges, they still are growing closer to Him and leading their families in that path. I failed to learn from my mother’s lesson in pie making. I wish I could sit in one of her lessons again, today!
Happy Mother’s Day to every mother everywhere!
No, I am not who I used to be, and I will be happy to be made into a new me someday soon!